Heard That?

July 2015

“In 18 months, I’m turning over the keys. I want to make sure I’m turning over the keys to somebody who is serious about the serious problems that the country faces and the world faces.” – Barack Obama

May 2011

(On Libya’s Colonel Gaddafi) – The mad dog of the Middle East. – Ronald Reagan

March 2009

I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

February 2009

What is the thinnest book in the world?
Everything men know about women.

January 2009

Everybody has a little bit of watergate in him. – Billy Graham
American Evangelist

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

December 2008

The buck does not even pause here. — Donald Reagan

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.

Anger is one letter short of danger.

The fear of death is the greatest compliment we pay to life.

November 2008

Personally I have always looked on cricket as organized loafing.

If they figure out a way to channel my anger, they could solve the energy crisis.

George Bush went into a think-tank this week and almost drowned.

October 2008

The two most beautiful words in the English language are ” Cheque Enclosed”.

When Bill Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied,” I don’t know. I never had one”.

The mentally retarded are treated equally in Texas—some executed, some elected to President.

September 2008

Sport is a universal language. Yes. If you learn to speak it, you can
communicate at a superficial level with idiots all over the world.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country

Pessimist; His usual greeting is: “Good morning, probably.”

When a woman makes a fool of a man it is usually an improvement.

Only in America………….do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a Diet Coke

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think.

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
Hubert Humphrey

August 2008

A sales conference is a gathering of people who singly do nothing and together decide that nothing can be done.

Minds are like parachutes; they only function when they are open.
—-Thomas Robert Dewar

They call him OPTICIAN: two glasses and he makes a spectacle of himself.

To err is human, but it is against company policy

In the Clinton administration, we worried the President would open his zipper. In the Bush administration, they worry the President will open his mouth. – James Carville.

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