(On Libya’s Colonel Gaddafi) – The mad dog of the Middle East. – Ronald Reagan
I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
Everything men know about women.
Everybody has a little bit of watergate in him. – Billy Graham
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
The buck does not even pause here. — Donald Reagan
The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
Anger is one letter short of danger.
The fear of death is the greatest compliment we pay to life.
Personally I have always looked on cricket as organized loafing.
If they figure out a way to channel my anger, they could solve the energy crisis.
George Bush went into a think-tank this week and almost drowned.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ” Cheque Enclosed”.
When Bill Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied,” I don’t know. I never had one”.
The mentally retarded are treated equally in Texas—some executed, some elected to President.
Sport is a universal language. Yes. If you learn to speak it, you can
communicate at a superficial level with idiots all over the world.
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country
Pessimist; His usual greeting is: “Good morning, probably.”
When a woman makes a fool of a man it is usually an improvement.
Only in America………….do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a Diet Coke
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
A sales conference is a gathering of people who singly do nothing and together decide that nothing can be done.
Minds are like parachutes; they only function when they are open.
—-Thomas Robert Dewar
They call him OPTICIAN: two glasses and he makes a spectacle of himself.
To err is human, but it is against company policy
In the Clinton administration, we worried the President would open his zipper. In the Bush administration, they worry the President will open his mouth. – James Carville.